The Swingers Attic

Solo And Traveling

by on Sep.21, 2010, under Unsorted

Question:

My husband has started traveling a lot for his job and because of this we have decided to swing separate. It has been no problem for me to get men or to play with local couples we already know, but he gets no takers as a solo man while traveling. Do you have advice on how a solo married male can get action while traveling?

Answer:
By Miranda-
You know I don’t have a lot of experience with this area being a stay at home mommy and all but I will try. 
As a swinger man traveling and looking for some action maybe setting up dates with women in advance might work.  Looking for booty calls with couples short notice is hard enough but arriving at your destination and looking for a quickly with a married or single woman can be challenging.  Before you leave your home town for business look for woman in the area you are going to. Contact them and if they are married let them know you are comfortable speaking with their husbands first.  One to make sure you are not putting yourself into an adultery situation and two so the female feels like you are a “safe” playmate.  Spending a little time conversing with a female whether it is via text, e-mail, or phone also may help the process along.  Also you may want to have your wife speak with your potential playmate so she knows you are a married swinger and not some scary single male who hunts for women while traveling without his wife knowing.  We all know their are creepers out there.  I know my advice takes some of the spontaneity out of the equation but taking a bit of extra effort to arrange a great time while on the road may work to your advantage. 

Answer:
By Aarron-
That seems like a hard one. (no pun intended)
Being a traveling married guy traveling solo sounds so fishy it would put him just a tad lower than the average single male in the swingers pick and choose market.
The only thing I would think may work is having a separate profile on the swinger personal sites you use with him listed as a play alone man who travels and a link on that profile back to your couples profile to show that he is actually part of a swinging couple.
Then maybe change locations on the profile a few weeks ahead of when he will be in the new areas and try to set dates up in advance.
If he doesn’t get a lot of notice of where he will be going for his work it would seem like almost a lost cause to me.
If you don’t mind the idea of him going outside the swinging community then he would probably do better just searching for hook-ups at vanilla bars if all he wants is some nookie on the side.
For one on one sex hook-ups vanilla bars are always the easy way to go unless your husband has no real social skills or lacks experience in such situations.
If that is the case then get to teaching him the rules of attraction.

For Vanilla bar pick-ups give him some strategy.
Some basics:

  • Make eye contact.
  • Smile
  • Approach only after smile is reciprocated
  • Be polite
  • Flatter, but only with real compliments
  • Small talk equals comfort
  • Look for like interests to talk about
  • Get her talking about something he actually has an interest in
  • Back off after an hour so she becomes the primary flirt
  • Then reciprocate
  • Then offer whatever it is that is being offered… (continued drinks and chat at the hotel is an obvious offer of sex without sounding over aggressive)

This question was originally submitted on SwingFun.com.

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