The Swingers Attic

Archive for October, 2011

Into the idea of just watching and later a MFM

by on Oct.29, 2011, under Newbie Help

Question:

Hi we are a couple new to swinging. We are really into the idea of a
MFM. Was wifes idea. For the first time we really want to have me the
hubby sit back watch and masturbate and then if she likes we do more
later with me joining another time. Is this possible are there men out
there willing to do this while I watch and beat off?
Thanks
Us

Answer:
By Miranda-
I love new and adventurous couples looking to join the lifestyle because you ask just great questions.
YES, there are actually tons of men in the lifestyle who would love to assist you in fulfilling you and your wife’s desires. Whether you want a single male or married male, it’s all up to you. You can find a man who’s allowed to play separately or you can find a single male to play along.
If you decide on a married male I will make the suggestion of talking with the wife on the phone to one make sure she exists and also gives her husband permission to come alone.
Maybe you want the wife there just to also watch or gently play, it’s all up to what you’re interested in.
With swinging always remember, if there’s a desire for something, there’s generally a way to have it fulfilled. You just need to take the time to search it out and not rush into finding a play partner for your wife.
I also want to tell you that you need to let your expectations be known to your playmate such as what your wife likes and dislikes and if there’s anything you are uncomfortable with make sure you let it be known.
Open communication is the key to a successful play date. I wish you the best in your search for the your first playmates and hope you both have a naughty Halloween.

Answer:
By Aarron-
The number of males willing to help with such a scenario as you describe is actually huge.
You will find all types of men are available, so take your time and select exactly what you are looking for.
From personal experience I have found Lifestyle Lounge has the most respectful and lifestyle knowledgeable selection of single males and solo playing married men in our particular area, and in general.
They also have the least amount of single males per couple though because the site doesn’t put up with jerks.
If you wan’t a huge selection and are willing to wade through a ton of emails AdultFriendFinder -aka- AFF is your best choice as it is the biggest of all sites catering to swingers and also has the largest amount of single males.
As my wife said… be sure to let your playmate know what it is you are wishing and any boundaries you may have before play to ensure all goes well.
Have a great Halloween.

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Aggressive men and going too far

by on Oct.24, 2011, under Unsorted

Question:

My husband and I met two males, who live with girlfriends about 3
years ago through a website. Over the course of 1 year, one of the
males went his own way, but I continued to see one of them. I found
this man occasionally aggressive and would have to “hold him at
bay”, but he would back off when asked. My husband was more turned
on if I played alone with this man. The second last time, he was
entering me aggressively, which caused bleeding and cramping.
Fortunately, my husband attended and was able to drive me home. The
last time I met this man alone in his hotel room. He did not provide
foreplay and simply stated, I want to “F” your brains out. He
moved me quickly to the bed and started entering me immediately. I
started to talk to him to get him to stop. He also was smacking my
fanny intermittently, which “jolted me “. I was not enjoying
myself and started to have sharp abdominal cramping. I jumped from the
bed the use the washroom. I felt extremely dizzy in the washroom so I
went to the main area and sat against a wall. This man offered me
water, but started saying “Wow, I don’t want the paramedics to
come here.” He gave me my clothes and I left. Two days later he
emailed about me coming over to see him, in which I vented about why I
was upset about the whole thing and did not want to see him again. Do
you think I overreacted?

Answer:
By Miranda-
OMG girl!!!!!  The situation you described not only made me feel extremely sad for you, but also sick to my stomach and slightly dizzy myself.  First and foremost I don’t care if your husband gets turned on by this male sexing you up, if he’s causing you pain and you aren’t enjoying yourself that’s enough for you to let your husband know, “Hey I’m not into him!!!!”
If your comfort zone has been crossed and you’re experiencing vaginal bleeding, cramping and dizzy spells I think you know the answer to your question, NOOOOOOO you didn’t overreact.
Your husband should have put the stop to this play mate a LONG time ago and shame on him for not telling the guy off.  You should be a trophy for your husband and not a rag doll for men HE enjoys watching “FUCK” you.
In the lifestyle my husband and I only play together due to our mutual belief that just because my husband respects other women doesn’t necessarily mean other men do.
To go to the extreme what if this man decided to get even more rough and NOT stop when you jumped up and proceeded to rape you?  What if he went too far?  I hate to scare you, but personally you and your husband need to be on the same page and show caution with playmates.
That playmate not only disrespects you, but ALL women when he plays too rough and causes you to question yourself.  ”Did you overreact?” NO you under reacted in my opinion, and personally if your husband isn’t wiling to back you up then you need to tell this guy to take a long walk off a short pier.
Now on the subject of your husband and please remember I don’t know your marital situation or relationship at all, but if my husband didn’t have MY back when it came to swinging and I was not comfortable with a male and he wanted me to continue seeing him, I’d tell him swinging wasn’t an option for us anymore.
A big part of the lifestyle for a couple is communication, understanding and working things out as a team.
If your husband isn’t willing to do that, then honey I’m sorry he’s in it for himself and himself alone.
I wish you SO much comfort right now and hope you can allow yourself the strength to set things right with this disrespectful low life playmate (tell him to forget your number girly) and communicate your needs to your husband. You need him to respect you and be behind you ALL the way in your sexual decisions.
Thank you also for confiding in us, I really hope I gave you a little more of what my sister likes to call, WOMEN POWER!!!!!!

Answer:
By Aarron-
I myself am not into aggressive sex, so I am coming at this from the perspective of someone on the outside.
I can only assume that you are into aggressive sex because of how long you have played with this individual, but into it or not… If you are bleeding vaginally, cramping, and having dizziness, then you know things are going a bit far for safety’s sake.
Also you state that during this last encounter you were not enjoying yourself and were asking him to stop. Did he stop immediately? If he did then I would say it was a case of being to rough and nothing else, but if he continued for even a moment after you asked him to chill then the guy in question is not a safe playmate in any manner.
As for the case of how your husband deals with all this… I’m going with the assumption still that aggressive sex is your thing.
Even if aggressive sex is your thing it is not safe for your husband to have you playing alone with single men who are into aggressive sex to the point you describe. It is dangerous and your husband should be there to make sure such play doesn’t go too far.
He should also be very aware of what your limits are in such types of play and be respectful of those limits.
The same goes for your choice in play partners. There are millions of potential playmates out there for you to potentially play with so no need to have sex with somebody you are not wishing to or even unsure of for that matter.
My advice to you is to cut off play with the guy in question and then have a huge discussion with your husband about your personal limits, respecting those boundaries, and his role in your swinging adventures.

 

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