The Swingers Attic

Archive for November, 2011

Another level before even getting started

by on Nov.26, 2011, under Insecurities, Newbie Help


My girlfriend and I have been talking about this lifestyle for some
time and just started practicing it about a year ago. We sat down and
discussed what our ground rules were going to be. The first thing that
we said was we would never play alone. Always had to be in the same
room or at least the same gathering. We started off with soft swap and
slowly worked our way up to full(Sort Of). Every time we got with a
couple something always happened that I never really got to be apart
of the swap completely. Basically I some how always got left out,
which is fine in a way because it is such a turn on just to see her
with another man. It seems that our rules change from time to time or
evolve I should say. Down we have been asked by some one we both know
and that she has been with if he could have a night or two alone with
her. When she asked me this it was like I swallowed a baseball. It
scares me. I don’t know if it is because I have yet to interact with
another woman or if it is insecurities that I have with myself? I
don’t know if I am ready to go to that level of the Lifestyle. Is this
normal to be so confused?

By Miranda-
Oh honey, it’s so normal to be as confused and scared as you are and also totally normal to also get a little angry (not saying you are but some people get this way). I’m a firm believer that in life there are things that we don’t want to do but have to, and then there are things we don’t want to do and it’s totally okay we don’t. This situation is the latter!
If you’re not comfortable with having your partner play alone, especially for a couple nights then by George, don’t feel as if you have to give the go ahead.
Even if you feel as if your partner may get a little bent out of shape, remind her she’s so very important to you and for whatever reasons you aren’t into trying it. Let her know you have given it a lot of thought and truly don’t feel good about it.
I’d add that if she becomes defensive then you REALLY shouldn’t be trying the hall pass out.
Swinging is about open and honest communication and also bringing a couple close sexually and sometimes even spiritually. Your partner should hear your request with open ears and an open heart, and know that you wouldn’t say no unless you really felt strongly about it.
I don’t personally agree with playing separately in most cases, but I know for a lot of couples with time restraints and really busy schedules, sometimes it’s the only way. I think swinging alone can cause major holes in a relationships sexual communication and I have also watched it tear couples into divorces.
I’m not trying to scare you or make you feel insecure about your relationship, I’m just trying to let you know your concerns are valid and not crazy.
I hope you talk with your partner openly about how you’re feeling and also hear her justifications for wanting this. That doesn’t mean you have to then go for the situation. I hope I’ve given you a little reassurance in knowing you’re not alone. Thank you for opening your world to share your story as well…good luck!

By Aarron-
Your reaction is a good one in my mind.
Unless you are more into getting off by knowing what your girlfriend is doing than actually participating or watching I would advise you to put the breaks on here.
The possible bad outcomes far outnumber any good ones that could come your way here.
I am not against separate swinging as much as my wife is, but I too have seen the crash and burn happen many a time with those that play separate. It does have it’s place, and we ourselves have our exceptions to the only together play. In general though it is best left for swingers who have been in the game long enough, and played enough to not still be trying to work out the basics of the lifestyle.
You are still just wading into the water and haven’t even got near the deep end yet.
My advise to you is to be a party pooper and say “nope” to the situation.
Play around a bit as a couple. Gain some experience. Get some lifestyle friends. Watch the ups and downs of others (learn from their mistakes) and then maybe talk about trying out situations such as separate dating/playing if it appeals to you.

A little extra note on rules:
Rules usually evolve over time in swinging. They often slowly disappear even after time.
That is good thing, but it is also good to change them slowly, and only as you gain experiences.
Whatever rules you may or may not have created when you originally decided to explore the swinging lifestyle had good reasons to be created. One or both of you felt each and every rule important because of fears, insecurities, experiences, or forethought. Unless EXPERIENCE is gained then those rules should not be changed. Without experiences the reasons for them still exist.



Ask a question - Swingers Attic Q & A
Questions about swinging?

2 Comments :, , , , more...

Stuff Her Stocking With This Glass Candy Cane

by on Nov.25, 2011, under Spice, Unsorted

Ho ho ho ho ho, it’s the season.
Christmas time is here and sexy stocking stuffers are a must.
Did I say a must? I did.
Here is a perfect one…
The Doc Johnson Reflections Glass Candy Cane.

A thick glass vibrating candy cane is perfect to make any swinger girl smile

Candy canes are a perfect stocking stuffer, and this one is extra special.

It is a vibrator that looks like a candy cane it isn't real

Enough playing around.
This is an honest to goodness awesome sex toy.

serious glass vibe perfect for christmas

The Reflections Candy Cane is made of Borosilate glass (Pyrex) so is smooth, easy to clean, and holds temperatures well.
Stick it in some ice water for some frosty feeling fun, or dip it in some warm water for a different sensation.
If you are a guy and like the ice cubes and warm water blowjob treatment then just imagine returning the favor with this glass vibe.
This toy is very smooth feeling and the looks make. me think of peppermint flavored girly bits. SEXY!
It’s ability to transfer vibrations is amazing because it’s glass, and the delicate hook of the candy cane was PERFECT at reaching my G spot when I tried it out.
It is hard to ask for much more in a stocking stuffer than that.

Candy Cane Reflections Glass Vibrator for a stocking

Learn more about it here!
Reflections candy cane - G-spot vibrators - EdenFantasys
The The Reflections Glass Candy Cane



The Doc Johnson Reflections Glass Candy Cane!
This candy cane shaped, red on white striped G spot vibrator made by Doc Johnson was sent to us from Edenfantasys sex toys to review.

Swingers Attic Sex Toy Reviews.

Leave a Comment :, , , more...

swingers attic