The Swingers Attic

She can’t stand drunks

by on Jan.02, 2012, under Lifestyle Etiquette, Newbie Help


My husband and I have been discussing the idea of swinging for almost five years and finally decided to take the plunge.
We have visited both of the local lifestyle clubs in our area and have encountered the same problem at both clubs. The people ALL seem to start drinking the minute they arrive and within hours are wasted. I can’t stand drunks. I refuse to have sex with a drunk and the smell of alcoholism on a persons breath is a turn off.
Why do all these swingers need to get wasted to have sex? Is there many non drinkers in the lifestyle, and if there is how do we meet some? I’m very discouraged.

By Miranda-
Oh my goodness!!!  I’m so sorry for your first very bitter experience into the lifestyle.
In answer to you question not ALL swingers drink to get wasted  to have sex, and in fact A LOT of couples don’t drink at all!!
Now I’ll tell you if you’re interested in non drinkers the best way to find them is to join a dating site, stick NON DRINKERS AND NOOOOO TOLERANCE on your profile so all can see. Then only arrange dates with couples who meet your qualifications.  It’s TOTALLY okay to be picky!!!  When hanging out in among swingers, yes many drink to get the edge off so they can feel a little more confident or relaxed but not ALL have to get wasted to have fun or play.
For instance, I personally do better socially with one but only one glass of wine while my husband usually doesn’t drink at all.  If he does have a drink it’s once in a blue moon.  I ‘m sorry you have come across the drunkards of our group for your first experiences, but please breath easy that many swingers don’t drink…at all!  You just have to be patient and when you find another couple that doesn’t drink then they’ll know others…hence your appropriate swinger social group.
I wish you the very best and encourage you to keep on keepin on, you’ll find your group just stick with it and have fun.  Thank you for sharing and happy holidays!

By Aarron-
We too have been to clubs and social gatherings filled with nothing except drunks. It isn’t really our scene either, so I completely understand where you are coming from.
My wife usually likes to get a tiny buzz and limits and rarely passes 3 drinks in an evening.
I for the most part have a single social drink or none at all. Maybe once a year will I throw caution to the wind and allow myself to pass a three drink mark.
Most of our friends are likewise non drinkers or light drinkers. We do have a few though that like to get wasted, but it isn’t so hey can play. They just happen to drink a lot in general.
I’m a person who doesn’t like sloppy drunk sex. Usually I find it to be bad/boring/cruddy in comparison to the levels a partner can achieve when sober. I usually just skip by the drunk girls unless I know them very well and we are already friends who have played at other times.
As all clubs are different I would suggest you keep checking various ones out until you find a club that caters to a less alcohol ingesting crowd. It would be rare to find one with no drunk sorts, but I have been to clubs that drunk is an exception rather than a norm. They do exist.
As for placing advertisements on personal sites like Lifestyle Lounge, Adult Friend Finder, Swing Life Style, etc… Do make sure to mention that you don’t like drunks and prefer non drinkers. There are tons out there. It won’t scare people away, and some of those people you have seen at the clubs may also be very into meeting up alcohol free. You’d be surprised how many of the heavy drinkers you have seen at the clubs rarely drink at all except when at those very same clubs.


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