The Swingers Attic

Lovers wanting to explore the swinging lifestyle

by on Feb.24, 2012, under Unsorted

Question:

Hi. I am wondering what your thoughts are on lovers that want to
swing. We have been lovers for 4 yrs now and would like to explore the
swinging lifestyle. Is it an option for us?

Answering in two fashions for lack of information.
lov·er  lover – via dictionary.reference.com
noun
1. a person who is in love with another.
2. a person who has a sexual or romantic relationship with another.
3. a person with whom one conducts an extramarital sexual affair.
Miranda’s with examples 1 & 2 and Aarron’s as answer to example 3.

Answer:
By Miranda-
I think for lovers swinging is sometimes an okay option and other times not. Remember when you’re just lovers there is no legal document (not that married couples don’t deal with this as well) binding you two together so sometimes insecurities lead to strain on your relationship and it ends because you really can’t handle your lover with another person. Also sometimes through swinging I’ve seen couples who were just lovers end because the other found another he or she fell for. Usually what happens in that situation is the lovers split the sheets and realize they really weren’t as secure as they thought or as committed. It happens in marriages too, so really if you and your lover want to venture into the lifestyle do it. Yes it’s an option for you and I wish you all the best. If you have any other questions regarding entering the lifestyle feel free to write back in, we love to answer!!!

Answer:
By Aarron-
Swinging is not about infidelity. It is about trust and partnership. It is a sharing.
If you are already having a secret affair and in turn putting your partners at risk for possible emotional, health, social, and maybe financial damage I certainly don’t think tossing some swinging into the pot is a good idea too.
Compounding the damages you may eventually cause already is NOT cool.
If for no other reason than the simple fact that sexual activity with others does carry a risk of sexually transmitted infections (even if you always use condoms) and it is NOT fair to put people at risk without their knowledge.

That was my official answer.

Now read on…

Personal Note about this topic in regards to how I took the question:
About three years ago we met a couple who have the most wonderful of marriages. They are also a lot of fun and have been swinging for many years. Within just a few months of meeting this couple we became very good friends and regularly played together. We are all friends in and out of the bedroom.
How it relates is this… This set of friends who have the most amazing of marriages and seem perfectly suited to each other had been lovers for years before seeking their respective divorces.
They did not swing while married to others, but nonetheless it is a case of lovers become married swingers.
In our bedroom travels we have run into this a few times.
We have also been contacted via swingers dating sites by “lovers” and met people at clubs and parties who one or both are married to another person and swinging behind their backs.
We do not play with such people. We do not wish to be a part in anybodies cheating. Most people we know feel the same way, but I will admit that there are also a lot of people out there who don’t care.
So, to answer the question “Is it an option for us?” Yes it is.

 

 

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