The Swingers Attic

Tag: infomation

The Swingers Lingo

by on Jul.25, 2012, under Unsorted

Question:
Good afternoon, and thank you for providing such an informative site
for newbies like me. My wife and I are very much into going against
the grain of society’s norms, so this lifestyle interests us greatly.
I’d like to ask a bit of an elementary question, though, and show just
how new we are. After reading some posts and learning slowly, we’re
still pretty lost on some of the lingo. Would you please help me
educate myself and my beautiful wife on the terminology used in the
lifestyle, such as vanilla and such? We’d love to learn before
stepping out to experiment. Thank you kindly and we look forward to
uncovering more and more about this exciting way of life!

Answer:
By Aarron-
I put this list together a couple years back for another site, but it should still do the trick.

A swingers lifestyle dictionary

Gone are most of the stupid phrases that nobody uses any more, and included are the phrases that people do use that never seem to show up on these lists.

  • AC/DC – (mostly an antiquated term, but still seen sometimes in personal ads)
    A slang term for bisexual.
  • ADULT – Euphemism for pornographic or erotic pictures, movies, games, activities, etc…
  • ADULT FUN – Euphemism for sexual activities. (see PLAY)
  • ANAL SEX – Anal intercourse (see GREEK)
  • ANALINGUS – Oral contact or stimulation of the anus. (see Rimming)
  • ANIMAL TRAINING – 1) Sexual activity with animals (see BESTIALITY) – 2) Role-playing scenario in which a submissive is made to act like an animal, often a dog or a pony.
  • ARTS – Euphemism for fetishes.
  • B&D or B/D – Bondage and discipline;  restraint of someone while administering discipline,usually done by a “master” to a “slave”. (see BONDAGE; DISCIPLINE; BDSM)
  • BAREBACK - Is a term to describe acts of unprotected sex (i.e. sexual penetration without the use of a condom).
  • BAREBACKING – (see BAREBACK)
  • BBC – Big Black Cock
  • BBC  LOVER – A woman who specifically seeks out black men with large cocks for sex.
  • BBW – Big Beautiful Woman; Referring to women that are plus sized, but comfortable with being so and consider themselves sexy.
  • BDSM – A combination of three terms: BD (Bondage & Discipline), DS (Dominance & Submission), and SM(Sadism & Masochism).
  • BED POST NOTCHERS – Refers to couples/singles that that try and have sex with as many couples/singles as they can.
  • BESTIALITY (see ANIMAL TRAINING)
  • BI – Bisexual: Versatile (see AC/DC) A person who enjoys sex with both male and female partners.
  • BI-COMFORTABLE - A Male or Female who is straight or nearly straight, but is comfortable with some same sex touching or play.
  • BI-CURIOUS – An otherwise straight  Male or Female who is interested in trying same-sex activities, or has been experimenting with same sex activities.
  • BI-FURIOUS – Usually refers to a woman, but sometimes a male who considers themselves extremely bisexual to the point that they actively seek out bisexual play above all other forms.
  • BI-PLAYFUL – A Male or Female who is straight or nearly straight, but will play with members of both sexes in a swinging situation. Often people who consider themselves “Bi-Playful” will only engage in sexual play with members of their own sex up to the point of foreplay and or teasing.
  • BIZARRE – Strange and unusual sexual desires or practices.
  • BONDAGE - A fetish in which restraints are used to bind, tie or hold a participating sexual partner.
  • BUKKAKE – Refers to showering a receiver with ejaculate from two or more men. Some people claim that at least 4 males must ejaculate on the receiver for it to be a BUKKAKE Shower.
  • CAN ENTERTAIN – Refers to a person or couple being willing to invite others into their home for swinging.
  • CAN TRAVEL - Refers to a person or couple willing to travel to your home to swing.
  • CHEATER – A person who engages in sex with others without spouse’s knowledge and/or consent.
  • CHEATING – Sexual activity with others without spouse’s knowledge and/or consent.
  • CLEAN -  (double meaning) – 1) Free of sexually transmitted diseases. 2) Hygienic, well groomed.
  • CLOSED DOOR – (see CLOSED SWINGING)
  • CLOSED SWINGING – Sexual interaction among couples using separate rooms, usually in the same house. (see SEPERATE ROOM PLAY)
  • CLOSET SWINGER – A person who hides the fact that they are a swinger. (see DISCREET)
  • COUGAR – Slang term for an older woman who is seen to be sexual aggressive , and likes younger men.
  • COUPLE - A man and a woman who play together. May be married, living together (cohabiting), committed (on going relationship) or 2 singles dating for swinging purposes.
  • CPL – (see COUPLE)
  • CUCKOLD - In the swingers lifestyle usually refers to  a husband who’s wife plays without him and comes home to tell him about it, or a husband who watches his wife play with others. NOTE: Often this fetish involves the husband being “forced” to watch and many couples who engage in “cuckolding” do so without the use of condoms.
  • CUNNILINGUS – Stimulation of the vagina and clitoris with the tongue and lips.
  • D/D FREE – Drug/Disease Free. A couple/person that is STD free and does not use drugs.
  • DILDO – A sex toy often shaped like a penis used for sexual stimulation of the vagina and/or  anus.
  • DILF – “Dad I’d like to fuck” refers to an over thirty male who is considered attractive.
  • DISCIPLINE – A sexual fetish in which one partner dominates the other. Discipline games often include physical punishment of the submissive partner
  • DISCREET  – People who exercise caution and take steps to insure that
    others outside of the swinging lifestyle  do not find out about their lifestyle.
  • DISCRETION – The steps taken to hide involvement in the swingers lifestyle.
  • DOGGING - refers to  engaging in sexual acts in a semi-public place  or watching others doing so. Many people into DOGGING enjoy group sex scenarios and often small gang bangs.
  • DOMESTIC TRAINING – Submissive obedience to household chores of a humiliating nature.
  • DOUBLE PENETRATION – Being penetrated in both the vagina and the anus at the same time. Some use the term to describe being penetrated in any two orifices at the same time.
  • DP – (see DOUBLE PENETRATION)
  • DOUBLE VAGINAL PENITRATION – When a woman is penetrated by two penises in the vagina at the same time. Some use the term to describe any two objects penetrating the vagina (such as one penis and one dildo)
  • DVP – (See DOUBLE VAGINAL PENITRATION)
  • DOMINANT – A sexual partner in control of a  submissive partner.
  • ENGLISH CULTURE – Sexual stimulation from spanking or caning.
  • ENTERTAIN -(see CAN ENTERTAIN)
  • EXHIBITIONIST - Refers to an individual that experiences sexual arousal or pleasure from displaying his/her body, or from being watched while having sex.
  • F – A female.
  • FELLATIO – Sexual stimulation of the penis by the mouth.
  • FETISH – Sexual arousal and pleasure through use of non-sexual objects, actions or non-genital anatomy.
  • FFM or FMF- Threesome involving two women and one man (see THREESOME)
  • FLAGELLATION – Sexual stimulation derived from pain, usually whipping or spanking.
  • FRIENDS – Swinging relationships that includes emotional and recreational values.
  • FRIENDSHIPS – Swinging relationship that includes emotional and recreational values besides sexual.
  • FULL SWAP – Two couples exchanging partners for sexual intercourse (see SOFT SWAP)
  • FUN AND GAMES – refers to  sexual activity.
  • FWB – Refers to “Friends with benefits” people who have or desire to have close friendships that also include sexual activity.
  • GAY – A homosexual person, male or female. A gay female may also be called a Lesbian.
  • GENEROUS – Refers to money for sex.
  • GOLDEN SHOWERS – Refers to urine play (see WATERSPORTS)
  • GREEK – Refers to anal intercourse often but not limited to gay or bisexual males.
  • GROUP ROOM -A room specifically set aside for group sex. Usually a group room will be furnished with wall-to-wall mattresses or pads.  (see MATROOM and ORGY ROOM).
  • GROUP SEX – Sexual activity between three or more people.
  • HARD CORE  – sexual interaction is assumed and expected.
  • HARD CORE PARTY – A swingers party or event where sexual interaction is assumed and expected.
  • HARD SWINGING (see HARD CORE)
  • HEAD – Oral-genital sexual activity; “Giving head” (see FALLATIO; CUNNILINGUS)
  • HEDONIST - A person  who lives for pleasure.
  • HETEROSEXUAL  – A person with a sexual attraction to members of the opposite sex.
  • HOMOSEXUAL – A person with a sexual attraction to members of the same sex. (See GAY)
  • HORNY – Wanting sex, ready for sex, sexually tense; In need of sexual pleasure.
  • HOT WIFE – A married woman who has sex with other men besides her husband.
  • HUNG – Refers to how large a mans penis is (see WELL HUNG)
  • HWP – Height-Weight Proportionate; Someone who not over or under the weight they think they should be.
  • INDOOR ACTIVITIES – Refers to swinging and or sexual play in general.
  • INDOOR SPORTS (See INDOOR ACTIVITIES)
  • IR – Refers to interracial couples or interracial sexual play.
  • IRL – Refers to “In Real Life” - Used in ads or online chat.
  • ISO – In Search Of; Used in ads; MWC ISO HUNG SM
  • LESBIAN – A woman who is attracted to other women. (see GAY; HOMOSEXUAL)
  • LTR – “Long Term Relationship”
  • M – Male.
  • MARITAL AIDS – Another way to say “SEX TOYS” and includes such things as Dildos, vibrators, plugs, and any other devices made specifically for and used for sexual pleasure.
  • MASOCHISM – Sexual gratification through receiving pain and or  humiliation from others.
  • MASTER/SLAVE  – Participants in a bondage and discipline sexual relationship.
  • MATROOM /MATTRESS ROOM – A room set aside for group sex with the entire floor covered in mattresses.  (see GROUP ROOM; ORGY ROOM).
  • MBC – Married Black Couple.
  • MBiC – Married Bisexual Couple
  • MEET TO PLAY - Wishing to meet for swinging only; Not wishing for social or emotional interaction .
  • MEET FOR PLEASURE - Wishing to meet for sex; no pretense for social or emotional interaction not directly related to sexual activity.
  • MENAGE A TROIS – Three people with at least one pairing of the opposite sex in a swinging interaction. (see THREESOME)
  • METRO SEXUAL – Usually refers to a male who through attire and behavior appears very feminine.
  • MFM or MMF – Threesome involving two men and one woman (see THREESOME)
  • MILF – “Mom I’d Like to Fuck” – used to refer to women past 30 or women who have a stereotypical  ”soccer mom” or “housewife” look that seem attractive.
  • MORESOMES – Refers to more than three people in a swinging interaction. (see GROUP SEX)
  • MWC – Married White Couple.
  • NEWBIES – People new to swinging that have played very little or not at all.
  • NEWCOMERS – New to swinging; First-timers. Most often the term is used in a club setting.
  • NONSMOKER – Does not smoke cigarettes.
  • OFF-PREMISE – Usually used in a club or party situation. It means no swinging takes place at the club or party.
  • ON-PREMISE - Refers to  clubs and parties where sexual play is allowed. Private and Public rooms are usually provided for play.
  • OPEN DOOR – Swinging with another couple or couples  in the same room (see OPEN SWINGING)
  • OPEN RELATIONSHIPS – A relationship in which participants are free to take other partners for long or short times and with or without their primary partners knowledge. Open relationships are NOT part of the swinging lifestyle, but some people who are in open relationships do partake in swinging.
  • OPEN SWINGING – A couple swinging with another couple or couples in the same room, often all participating  together.
  • ORGY – Sexual interaction among several men and women in the same room.
  • ORGY ROOM – A room (at a party house or club) specifically set aside for orgies. Most if not all of the room is usually covered in mattresses.
  • PARTY – In swinging refers to  three or more people of both sexes getting together for sexual play.
  • PARTY BAG – refers to a bag, purse, duffel, etc… filled with all the needed items for swinging. (Things like condoms, lube, mouth wash, toothpaste, sex toys, wet wipes, chap stick, etc..)
  • PARTY CLOTHES – Refers to swing party wear. This includes not just the sexy/easy to get into clothing for at the party, but also the after attire (including robes and lingerie) and the going home attire (usually a long jacket to cover the party clothes)
  • PARTY HOUSE - A usually small swing club offering a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties.
  • PASSIVE - A submissive person usually willing to receive corrective training or take commands from a superior in swinging.
  • PEGGING -  A sexual practice in which a woman penetrates a man’s anus with a strap-on dildo.
  • PERVING PROFILES – Swinger slang for checking out the photographs on other swingers profiles. (see PROFILE)
  • PHOTOS – What people show each other online or via mail before meeting in person.
  • PHOTO TRADE - exchange of nude and often explicit photos with others.
  • PLAY – Refers to any sexual activity between swingers.
  • PLAYDAR - Refers to a feeling swingers get that another couple may also be swingers.
  • POLYAMORY / POLY – An emotional long term relationship involving more than 2 people. Or simply the belief that people can love limitless amounts of people at the same time.
  • POSERS – Couples or singles who frequent swingers gatherings , but rarely if ever play.
  • PRO – Professional; i.e. prostitutes, hookers, call girls, escorts.
  • PROFILE - A  personal page on a swingers dating site that includes all of the important information as it pertains to the preferred swinging activities of couples or singles who maintain membership on the site.
  • RECREATIONAL SWINGER – A person who practices swinging  as a recreational diversion and is not interested in forming any long term friendships.
  • RIMMING – To lick the anus.
  • ROMAN – Group sex, orgies, the party scene, etc…
  • RUBBER – A condom.
  • SAFE - Refers to a person who cannot conceive or impregnate.
  • SAFE SEX – In swinging usually refers to the use of condoms forpenitrative sex.  Safe sex practices may however include any sexual activity engaged in by people who have taken precautions to protect themselves against sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS.
  • SBF – Single Black Female.
  • SBiF – Single Bisexual Female.
  • SBM – Single Black Male.
  • SEPERATE ROOM PLAY - Refers couples going to separate (private) rooms for swapping.
  • SGL – Single.
  • S&M or S/M – Sadism and Masochism.
  • SINGLE – A swinger without a partner, does not necessarily  refer to marital status.
  • SOCIAL or SOCIALS – A party, dance or other gathering for swingers to meet and socialize. There is never any swinging at a social.
  • SOCIAL SWING CLUB – A membership only swing club that offers social and swinging activities including a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties.
  • SOFT SWINGERS – Couples who only have intercourse with their own primary partner. No swapping for intercourse.
  • SOFT SWAP – Two couples exchanging partners for certain types of sexual activity (defined by the couples involved) but not including intercourse.
  • SOFT SWINGING – A term used to describe  any sexual play up to, but not including intercourse, with someone other than your primary partner.
  • SRS – Same Room Sex. One of the softest form of soft swinging.
  • STD – Sexually Transmitted Disease.
  • STR – Straight (see STRAIGHT)
  • STR8 - 1) Refers to straight (see STRAIGHT) – 2) Refers to a straight male who is also homophobic.
  • STRAIGHT – A person who is not interested in engaging in sexual activity with a member of the same sex or a person who does not use drugs.
  • SUBMISSIVE – A passive person who wishes to be dominated (see Passive)
  • SWAPPING – Two couples exchanging partners for sexual activity.
  • SWF – Single White Female.
  • SWM – Single White Male.
  • SWINGING – AKA ‘The Lifestyle’  refers to social and recreational activities surrounding sexual play most often with other couples , and always with full knowledge and mutual consent of all people involved.
  • SWINGING LIFESTYLE -When swinging becomes a major component in recreation, choice of friends, business and social life, and intimate relationships.
  • SWINGLE – A person who is single that plays with swinging couples.
  • SWM – Single White Male.
  • TESTED – Refers to having a current test showing negative results for any type of sexually transmitted infections.
  • TESTED PARTIES – Private parties for swingers who prefer to play bareback (see BAREBACK) with guests who have been vetted. (see VETTING)
  • THREESOME – Three people having sex together.
  • TICKET – A female brought to a couples only swing party solely to enable the male to gain entrance. The “ticket” usually has no intention to swing.
  • TOYS - Sex toys (see MARITAL AIDS)
  • TRANSGENDERED - A person who does not identify with his/her biologically assigned sex.
  • TRANSSEXUAL - A person who has undergone conversion from one gender to another through surgery and hormone treatments or is in the process of doing so.
  • TRANSVESTITE – A person who receives sexual gratification by wearing clothes identified with the opposite sex.
  • TRAVEL – (see CAN TRAVEL)
  • TRIAD – Three people in a long term committed relationship of emotional and sexual involvement.
  • UNICORN - Refers to a single female, bisexual or straight. Who is willing to have sex with a couple. Many swingers have so much trouble finding single women they consider them as rare as a unicorn.
  • UTOPIAN SWINGER – A person who practices swinging as a total lifestyle with humanistic ideals.
  • VANILLA – Typically refers to non-swingers.
  • VERSATILE – Bisexual. (see AC/DC)
  • VETTING – Is a process of examination and evaluation for entrance into private parties usually including a full scan for sexually transmitted infections.
  • VOLUPTUOUS – A term usually used to refer to a woman with large  breasts and  hips. Sometimes used to describe being larger than average, but not large enough to be considered a BBW.
  • VOYEUR – A person who enjoys watching others in sexual acts.
  • VOYEURISM – Sexual gratification from watching or peeping at others engaged in sexual activity.
  • WATERSPORTS – Refers to urine play.
  • WAY-OUTS/ WEIRDOS – Those people interested in activities usually considered by the majority to be bizarre, kinky, unusual, or unconventional.
  • WELL HUNG – Refers to a man with a much larger than average penis size.

So… anything missing?
Anything need to be added?
If so … help me out and tell me.

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Wanting to know more even though it seems strange

by on Mar.18, 2012, under Newbie Help

Question:
My husband and I have been happily married for 40 years. Recently he
has brought up the idea of trying the swinging lifestyle. I was
totally shocked by this and hurt at first that he would want to try
it. I am still not convinced but want to know where I go to find out
more information about what it entails and if it’s right for me. It
just seems so strange to me and have really never thought of it
before. Thanks

Answer:
By Miranda-
First I want to say congratulations on 40 years of marriage!!! What an accomplishment these days! Secondly I must tell you that although I don’t know you how absolutely proud I am of you for seeking information on the lifestyle.
I can tell you from personal experience how much swinging has enriched my marriage and given me a power only other women in the lifestyle cam fully understand. I do also realize that swinging is NOT for everyone so don’t feel pressure from my response to feel any thing you may not want to.
I know you asked my for places to look up information and to be honest, Aarron is an absolute nerd when it comes to looking up information so I’m going to let him inform you on that end.
I’m just going to rattle off my personal beliefs, and yes that’s all they are folks…opinions. I can tell you that after 40 years of marriage I’m so thrilled you are taken aback by your husband’s request. It shows you are a women of devotion and I think that’s something this day and age people have sometimes forgot. I will also say that my devotion for my husband grew deeper after playing around in the lifestyle. I was able to swing with other men and women with my husband and then at the end of the night go home and make love with more passion and lust than I had before. I feel more alive while swinging and totally true to myself and my desires.
It has to be said that NO ONE and I don’t care who you are hasn’t thought once or twice in their lives, “Hey I wonder what it would be like to sleep with so and so?” or “Hey wouldn’t it be kinky to have a threesome?” It’s human nature to be curious and it’s also human nature to be faithful, so why not put two and two together? lol – Because you have 40 years experience with reading each others thoughts and working as a team you may just find swinging brings back a little heat you may not have known was gone.
I’ve known couples who aren’t married and just live together and are into the lifestyle and I know couples who met through the lifestyle, married and still happily play. I’ve known couples who’s relationships weren’t strong enough to make it through the difficult obstacles of the lifestyle, and YES you will have some but as I always say it’s not about the play date but about how you communicate and come together with your spouse in the end.
Don’t let swinging close of communication but allow it to blossom and grow from the experience you two will have.
If after doing a bit of research you decide to take the plunge I hope it enhances and flames the fires for you.
If you decide it is something you don’t want to try out I hope that at least you and your husband can grow through good communication about the whats and whys concerning the lifestyle.
Either way, I wish you more happy years of marriage and congratulate you on not just 40 years, but the next ten too.

Answer:
By Aarron-
Finding decent information on swinging is actually not very easy on the internet unless you are extremely web savvy.
The reason isn’t because of a lack of information or participants, but rather a huge amount of sensationalized shock articles published by mainstream press targeted to those who don’t know anything about it and in almost all cases written by people that know nothing either.
Secondarily there is the problem that large internet portals and social networks are overflowing with misinformation.
Yahoo for example has Yahoo Answers which is a place for people to ask questions. If you ask swinging related questions you will get tons of misinformation primarily from people who have never experienced the lifestyle or did so only in a microcosmic fashion. Good answers from long time swingers are rare on such sites.
Since however you are just looking for the basics I think I can help you out.

First there is the NASCA Int’l Swinging FAQ page. It is dry, a bit outdated, and very basic. Those basics are however pretty spot on.

Another good listing of the basics can be found at sexuality.org’s page on The Swing Community. It also is a bit dry, targeted towards the stereotypical, and I would warn against researching via the Bibliography because it will lead you to very outdated material and oftentimes things completely off base.

The advice section/archive on Life on the Swingset has some great content that if you read through it all can give you a good perspective of how SOME people think and navigate through the world of swinging, non monogamy, and polyamory.

The Swingers Board forums are filled with ideas, questions, advice, and stories, but please read them with a grain of salt. Being a free forums system allowing anyone to make accounts has made it almost as horrible as yahoo answers when it comes to misinformation.
The site is free though, and that is the price of open forums. It exists primarily by up-selling SwingLifestyle which is an online swingers personals/dating site. Swinglifestyle also offers free to view forums which can give you a glimpse of what people interested in swinging are talking about. Not I said interested in rather than participating swingers. The forums are not the most active swingers forums when it comes to people who actually play. (play is the term most commonly used to refer to couples getting together for sexual activity)
I am not knocking the site.  When it comes to bang for your buck SwingLifestyle is the tops for frugal swingers who wish to meet others without paying a fortune to do so. I have not found a site even close to a busy as this one in the same price range. Please note that where a person lives can greatly affect this. We are on the West coast and the site has many members here.

For good forums that are decently active with many REAL swingers in them I always recommend Lifestyle Lounge. The problem however is that Lifestyle Lounge doesn’t allow full access to view their forums for non members. They do offer some though. If you wish to participate you must become a member of the site.
A lot of special groups (some active and some not) also exist along with a huge advice archives filled with darn good advice from a lifestyle gal who goes by the name of Robyn.
Like most sites of this type they have a free sign up that allows more access.

A fun take on swinging information and advice can be found at CoupleDoingIt.com with great videos (meant to be humorous) and a nice frequently asked questions section.

Lastly there is Wikipedia’s Swinging page which is filled with all the basics and pretty dang accurate.

Being that swinging is a social activity above all else I must stress that you will learn more about the world of swinging via personally operated sites like ours, Life on the Swingset, and CoupleDoingIt.com than through sites like Wikipedia.
The same goes for reading forums. A full day of reading through the Lifestyle Lounge forums will give you more incite as to the various sorts of swingers, the reasons that motivate them, and the activities they partake in than any website that just offers up general information on what swinging is.

Lastly I should mention that there are a ton of books targeting the subject available.
Swingers Lifestyle Books on Amazon
I have read most of them (just because of a reading addiction) and to be honest I would again recommend spending time on some good forums over any book I know of.

The sites above will certainly give you information about what swinging entails. So many different things for different people) and some good forum reading should give you the more personal glimpses that may help you decide if it may be right for you.

 

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