The Swingers Attic

Tag: intimacy

Likes to swallow every time

by on Nov.14, 2010, under Playing with others, Sexuality

Question:

I love swallowing, but my husband says it makes him uncomfortable when I swallow other men’s cum.
I tell him it is my reward for a job well done and he says I should only swallow his cum.
I have never heard him tell another woman not to swallow his cum though.
What should I do?

Answer: 
By Miranda-
You should do a little more investigating into the reason he only wants you to swallow his cum. 
Is it because of intimacy or is it because he thinks it not safe?  He could just want it to be a special thing you do with him, but he thinks it to be special with others as well. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want you to do it with others is because its a special thing and it makes him feel like your lovers are just as important.  
It may be a way he feels close to you. 
Remember in the case of safety that if you have a cut or scratch inside your mouth it’s probably not a good idea to have a mans cum in your mouth but otherwise you are safe.  
Your stomach acids are designed to take care of such things if they weren’t the world would be riddled with sickness of all sorts. 
I think you need to discuss it a little further with your husband and weigh the pros and cons.  What’s good for the goose is good for the gander so I only find it fair that if he is okay with other women swallowing his cum he should be okay with you swallowing other men’s.

Answer:
By Aarron-
If his concerns are about sexually transmitted infections it should be a matter of having a man orgasm in your mouth or not rather than an issue of you swallowing.
Herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis can all be transmitted through unprotected oral sex.
As for HIV , most experts say there is little to no risk of getting HIV through fellatio.
Since most sexually transmitted infections are transmitted through contact with sores or lesions on the genitals, or are present in the precum, anybody performing unprotected oral sex on an infected partner has already been exposed even before their partner reaches orgasm.
Once the guy cums you have two choices… spit or swallow.
If swallowing is the rout taken you can rest easy knowing that the digestive enzymes and acids will destroy all the nasty germs and your stomach and intestines are not vulnerable to sexually transmitted infections.
So… with that out of the way:
It is my guess that the issue your husband has with you swallowing has zip to do with STI risks.
I am guessing it has to do with intimacy or wanting to keep something semi special between you.
Just because your husband lets other women swallow his cum doesn’t men he likes you to swallow other men’s cum.
From the perspective of many males it often it seems extra special and intamate for a woman to swallow.
The woman is taking in fluid from the male. She deliberately swallows his cum.
The male is taking nothing into his body and therefore doesn’t feel it as such an intimate or special act on his part. He is also not making a decision as to what becomes of his ejaculate. The woman is.
The ball is in her court so to speak. It is her decision as to if she removes his cock from her mouth for orgasm or keeps it in her mouth and allows his cum to go in her mouth. It is then her decision to spit or swallow the cum if she did let him cum in her mouth.
The male is semi passive through all of this and if he does take an active role in these decisions through physical guidance or verbal requests he is still at the mercy of whatever decision the woman makes.
It is a very powerful position for the woman.
So… you can see how it can be viewed by some men as special for the woman to swallow, yet not special for the man to “let” a woman swallow.
Talk with your husband and see what it really is that makes him feel uncomfortable when you swallow for other men.

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Sex without condoms is to intimate for swinging

by on Sep.22, 2010, under Playing with others, Sexuality

Question:

We are a long time lifestyle couple that has always practiced safe sex except with one other couple who we have a very special relationship with.
Recently my wife has expressed a desire to add another couple to our no condom rule, but I am against it. The couple is a low volume couple and because they currently play only with us also wishes to forgo the condoms. It is not the safety issue that concerns me it is one of intimacy. We have been swinging so long that the idea of bare back sex seems very intimate to me and I don’t wish to be so intimate with this couple and also don’t like the idea of my wife being so intimate.
The couple who we do play bareback with was brought into the discussion because we felt it concerned them also and they are fine with it because of the couple in question being exclusive to us. They don’t seem worried about intimacy issues. I am alone in this and the decision has fallen on me. Should I cave in to them all or stick to my guns?

Answer:
By Miranda-
I think its great you are willing to stick to your guns with so much swinger pressure. 
You have five people and and they all want one thing.  You want another!  I think its important in your particular situation to stick with your beliefs. 
Finding a special couple to play bare back with is fantastic and finding two special couples is astounding but tell me what happens when they all become “special?”  I think playing bare back is very much about intimacy and if you are not willing to become intimate with the new couple then your wife needs to respect that.  Nothing worse than moving too fast and doing things you’re not sure of.  Let your wife know you need more time or maybe you don’t and you have made up your mind, no is no!  Remind your wife just because you don’t wish to play bare back doesn’t mean you don’t want to play at all with the couple.  Fun can still be had by all…so keep your party hats on!

Answer:
By Aarron-
I get the intimacy thing.
Often discussions about the use of condoms (or not) end up just being about STD issues and many people don’t look at the intimacy side of it.
People all have different levels of what is to intimate for swinging.
Obviously in your case the idea of playing bareback with a couple is very intimate and doing so with people you don’t want to share that much with isn’t going to fit well in your mind.
I often say that swinging is a team sport.
The couple is a team and the team has to be playing the game in the same way for everyone to come out a winner.
If you are not comfortable with bareback play when it comes to the couple in question then that is the the way it must be.
Stick to your guns and don’t do or sanction anything you are not comfortable with.

This question was originally submitted on SwingFun.com.

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