The Swingers Attic

Tag: lifestyle sites

Two for one – Single bi males and couples

by on Sep.24, 2011, under Newbie Help

We received two questions this month that are in general the same thing, so we decided to answer them as one.

Question:
I am a 59yr old male. I stay in pretty good shape(3pack-lol). I am
looking to swing with a bi-couple. What is the best way to find a
couple to enjoy some good times with.

Question:
I’m a recently divorced guy in my 40′s and wanting to get into the
lifestyle. Mostly I am interested in no strings sex and joining in
as a third with established couples. I am bi curiuos, but have had
no experience with other men. I’d like some advice on how to meet
couples who are looking for bi men.

Answer:
By Miranda-
First thing you want to do is find a web site that best suits your sexual needs. Our favorite lifestyle site is Lifestyle Lounge.
Evryone has different tastes in sites though, so I can’t say if it would be the best for either of you. We actually use multiple sites ourselves.
Once you pick a site you’ll create a profile and pay a monthly fee to join.  You’ll then fill in your profile with your sexual orientation and example of a few sexual likes (example: enjoys deep kisses).  With  being a bi curious male or bi sexual male you DEFINITELY want to include that into your profile.
Not including this could put you in a sticky situation.  Honesty is always the best policy in my book, so make sure if you’ve never played with a man before to include that in your profile until you actually play so you can decide from experience.
It’s definitely a little more tricky to find the male and female who are interested in a bi sexual male but it’s NOT impossible, please be patient and don’t get discouraged if you haven’t gotten an overwhelming response with your first personals advertisement.
You may want to look into going to a couple “meet and greets,” those are social lifestyle get togethers for just that… meeting and greeting.  They’re usually put together at a bar where couples can go to feel comfortable and get to know others from the lifestyle.
Generally the sites I told you about will have information on these events.  Remember to include a picture or pictures of yourself so that the couples can take a peek.  These pictures DON’T have to be naughty just something that lets them see your face and body shape.  If you aren’t comfortable with having a picture up you can always opt out of that and just e-mail it to couples who are interested but generally you’ll receive an even smaller amount of takers because to many couples that’s just another step in the process.  I hope this advice has helped you both and wish you the best of luck on your introduction to the lifestyle. Thank you.

Answer:
By Aarron-
As bisexual or bi curious males you are in a catch 22 position when it comes to the swinging lifestyle.
Of all sexual communities I have come into contact with I can say that the world of swinging is the most homophobic of any when it comes to men. On the flip-side it seems that many swingers expect and idolize bisexuality in women.
The weird way in which the masses of the swinging communities act in regards to bisexuality in males causes a problem for bi men, and at the same time gives an advantage.
You problem is that because of fears involving not getting play partners, being treated rudely, and generally ostracized, most bisexual males who are married do not mention their bisexual sides in their online profiles and do not openly show their bisexual desires at parties and other swing lifestyle gatherings.
This makes it very hard for you as a bisexual single to find couples through said gatherings that would be interested or to browse profiles and know who is actually bi on the swingers personals sites.
The advantage you have as a single bi male if you do create a good profile and have something to offer is that you will be contacted by these couples.
They too face the problem of what looks like slim pickings on the swing sites. Listing yourself as bisexual and wanting to play with both men and women will get interest from those couples who seeks such pleasures, but don’t list it in their profile.
As for the best site to find such couples and gatherings of people I can’t really say.
The site mentioned by Miranda… Lifestyle Lounge has the most sex positive and bi-male friendly atmosphere of the multiple sites we use, but it is also a the smallest as far as members, and filled with a more discriminating and unforgiving crowd than other sites.
If you live in a larger metro area, have social skills, are looking for the party scene, and are able to dress semi fashionably then Lifestyle Lounge is probably your best bet.
If you are not in such an area or just want to meet couples one on one then I would suggest going with AdultFriendFinder. The reason for that is that they are just plain and simple the biggest site out there when it comes to meeting couples for sex. If you go with AdultFriendFinder -aka- AFF my biggest advice for your particular situation is to get a gold membership rather than silver (even though unless your very active it makes no difference in site use) because some people will consider a gold member more serious. My next advice is to really do your profile up nice.
I suggest you read my post on The proper order of the pictures for your profile.
Lastly for some AFF advice with your particular needs in mind I would suggest paying for the option of allowing non paying members to contact you if you don’t get a lot of email the first week or so.
The reason I suggest this is because AdultFriendFinder -aka- AFF has a lot of non paying members who just browse profiles, but never sign up as full silver or gold members.
I once thought allowing non paid members to contact us would be an invitation to have all kinds of time wasters contact us, but I used some credits to allow it one month and actually met some great people I otherwise wouldn’t have.
Hope I have been of help. Good luck.

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Lifestyle Lounge turns 10 years old!

by on Jul.27, 2011, under Unsorted

We have been members of Lifestyle Lounge (AKA LL) for just over three years now and in that three years we have met more great friends than on all the other sites we have belonged to put together.
Note I said more “great friends” rather than “more people.”
Quality over quantity.
Lifestyle lounge is by far the classiest adult networking website for people in the swinging lifestyle.
Because of this fabulous site and the friends we have made through it we are always invited to parties, meet and greets, outings with other couples, etc…
In general we can fill our lifestyle social calendar because of the friends we have made and the groups of people we have met.

Lifestyle Lounge turns 10 years old this summer!
That seems a long time to me considering we have been on the site under 4 of those years.
It also seems like a long time considering how up to date the site is as far as navigation and appearance.
We belong to a couple other sites that are older with web design that seems very antiquated. Kudos to LL for staying up to date and keeping their site classy and easy to use.

Anyways… Happy Anniversary to Lifestyle Lounge!

 lifestyle lounge

- ‘Lifestyle Lounge’

~Aarron

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