The Swingers Attic

Tag: single females

From Couples to Unicorns

by on Jun.23, 2012, under Spice

Question:

Hi, my man is very into swapping, but I am more into the girl on girl play. I have been trying to talk him into threesomes with other girls, but he wont allow girls who are not swingers and says unicorns are impossible. I know I could get girlfriends from work to join us, but he says it would end up being messy. I think my man is tripping. What do you think?

Answer:
By Miranda-
I think your man is looking out for you honey.
Involving coworkers into your bedroom equation can end badly. It can make work super uncomfortable and not at all a place you ever want to visit again. I will back you up though and say that unicorns aren’t impossible and actually really easy to find. Even if they aren’t swinger girls, go out to a local club, and if you’re putting out the vibe for playful fun, girls will SO love to partake, really. It just takes a little know how and skill, which isn’t hard. Just show confidence and let the female know your intentions up front. If they aren’t into it they’ll say no and sometimes they don’t even know they want to until the opportunity is given to them.
I know it seems risky and sounds full of rejection but take it from me, it is a great way to prefect your confidence even in the swinger world. I hope you give it a try or even a month worth of tries because I guarantee you’ll find your girl…or many. A secure couple for a single girl in a club is promising because they can play and then walk away. Thanks for writing in and good luck on your girly seeking adventures…out of the work place.

Answer:
By Aarron-
I agree with Miranda on avoiding people from the workplace unless you are wanting to possibly have a whole bunch of drama in your life.

Unicorn = Single bisexual female involved in the lifestyle that seeks play with couples.

Unicorns … I dislike the term as it implies mythical and nonexistent, when in reality it is quality couples who single bisexual females wish to actually play with that are most rare in my opinion.
Most people I have met who are actively seeking a “unicorn” are not what the unicorn wants.
They are often mismatched visually (one attractive partner with one less attractive) or they have security , jealousy, control, confidence issues… or are NOT on the same page at all in what they want and why they wish a unicorn in the first place. The super secure, no worries, no insecurities, on the same page completely type couples usually seem to have no problem making friends with single bisexual girls.
I have even noticed that it is often the “unicorn” that ends up making the advances towards such a couple at lifestyle parties and events.
As for non-swinger girls in general, I think that is even easier to accomplish. The only “unicorns” I ever deal with are ones we have met through mutual friends, or those who take huge steps to get together with us.
Single girls in the vanilla world are a whole different game.
Many will jump at the chance to play with a couple. It is often a fantasy that has never seemed realistic.
The trick is to simply have confidence, both be on the same page, and not be creepy.
It is best if you (the female) does most of the big time flirting if the girl is 100% vanilla because she is more apt to be at ease and wont have her guard up as much.
Don’t rush it. I’ve noticed that many people who have been in the lifestyle try to rush it in the vanilla world because they have gotten so used to the way lifestyle people hookup. Vanillas sometimes (not always) need some extra sweet talking and flirting.

Another thing I would like to point out is that any vanilla girl you pick up should be treated especially nice and that you must try and make sure she leaves feeling appreciated and special. As a vanilla in a regular club she did not sign up as a swinger looking for a quick hookup. You invited her into the mix. It is your duty to make sure she feels it was a good idea afterwards.

 

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Advice on scoring a single girl

by on Jan.06, 2011, under Newbie Help

Question:

I have decided to give swinging a try because I would like to explore my bisexual side.
We have been looking for a girl using online dating sites and have visited a couple lifestyle clubs over the last six months and seem to not be having any luck with catching a girl.
Do you have any advice on how a couple can score a single girl in the lifestyle?

Answer:
By Miranda-
My advice to you is simple. 
Remember to always compliment, always make her feel important (because she is) and never push. 
Remember there are two of you and only one of her so if she feels any pressure to play…you have lost her. 
Feel comfortable that  its okay to be attracted to her and allow yourself to compliment and flirt her up. 
Remind your husband to mind his manners and always allow you the first kiss or move.  Bi girls want to play with both but they need to feel wanted, secure and desired by the female first and foremost.  Because really, you two will be working as team to please your husband and because she is entrusting you both to enjoy her and take care of her. 
If you rush while fishing , all you will get is seaweed or a tangled line.  You need to work your bi sexual catch together so she wants to jump in your boat without any help.  I’m not being sly or dishonest about this, just remember she is the princess  in the situation and in so needs to be treated like one.

Answer:
By Aarron-
As a couple new to swinging and seeking a single girl you have a lot of competition.
When you look at swingers dating sites and check out the newer couples profiles you will notice that a majority of them state they are interested in single girls.
Then take a look at the more rare single bi females profiles and imagine what they have to choose from if they are interested in couples.
Then add all the single guys and gals that are after them and you can get an idea of your odds.
Pretty slim.
If you swing with couples you will eventually meet single females through them, but that is a whole different subject.
So… your profile is the big issue here.
How can you stand out and make yourselves desirable to a single woman when she has so many couples to choose from?
Here are 3  things you should do.

  1. Write your profile in a way that shows your personality and highlights your sense of humor and charm. Note I said “your sense of humor” rather than “try to be humorous.”
  2. Explain what type of woman you would like to meet and why. Remember that she is a person and not a product. I can’t count how many times I have seen a couples profile seeking single women that was worded in a manner that made it sound as if they wished to rent a car for the weekend.
  3. Have good photos of both of you that not only shows your bodies, but your faces too. If for some reason you can’t post your face shot you should send one along with your initial email because otherwise you will usually get no response. Also note that if you don’t have face shots up (and good body shots) you will most likely not get any email enquiries from single women ever and should plan on doing all of the initial contact yourself. If the girl can’t see you , why would she write you?

Our profiles have good photos and show some of our personality.
I think it is because of that reason we get a few single females a month writing to us… even though we specifically state that we are primarily interested in couples, but “may be interested” in a single female if she seems a “perfect” fit.

As for lifestyle clubs:
Miranda pretty much summed it up.
The only thing I would add is that you should exude confidence without seeming cocky.
Women love confidence, but usually don’t like arrogance. It is a fine line to walk, but it must be learned.

With that all said…
My personal opinion is that if you want to “score” a single girl as a couple it would be much easier to do so in the vanilla bar setting than via swingers lifestyle sites and even lifestyle clubs if you have your game down.
In a vanilla bar setting the most important thing to know when approaching a single girl is to make it 100% obvious that you are both into the idea.
You don’t want her to have any doubts that it is an opportunity for a fun and exciting evening.
Besides that it is all about body language and charisma.
You know if you have that already.
It’s time to dust off those old pick-up skills you used before you got married and put them to work again.
If you are saying “I never really had those skills.” then your options are to learn them or to stick with the swingers dating sites and lifestyle clubs.
You still need some social skills in a lifestyle club, but because all the cards are already on the table you don’t need any actual pick-up skills.
Everybody knows why they are there. The rituals of the vanilla bars can be skipped and you can just introduce, chat, flirt, ask.

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