The Swingers Attic

Tag: straight

She isn’t bi curious

by on Feb.13, 2011, under Newbie Help

Question:
The primary reason we decided to start swinging was to explore my wife’s bisexual fantasies.
We Joined a lifestyle site and got a lot of responses that finally lead to us meeting with a great couple that we experienced both a full swap with and fulfilled my wife’s fantasy of a lesbian encounter.
We both enjoyed swapping. It was exhilarating.
After having sex with a woman though she has decided it isn’t for her.
She is not bi or bi curious.
Is this going to ruin our chances at meeting other couples?
It seems most women in the lifestyle are bisexual.
Worried about no play partners.

Answer:
By Miranda-
I will tell you in that in the lifestyle many woman are bi playful rather than bisexual. 
They don’t mind flirting and touching another girl so that their husbands can get excited and a a little show but they aren’t interested in any other way. 
The husbands usually find it an amazing turn on to see their wives caress and make out with another woman so when you are bi sexual (such as myself) you find these woman a total turn off. 
Just make sure when you’re looking for a couple you make it clear your wife Isn’t interested in ANY type of swap or serious sex with the female. 
Also, if your wife decides she could be bi playful there is a greater chance a couple will think  “Heck yeah she’s in!”  So unless she’s willing to take a chance make it completely clear she’s as straight as a board. 
Like  I mentioned earlier, I’m bisexual. If a girl seems apprehensive I stay my distance. 
I’m fine with hanging out with straight girls.
Also, just because a woman is bisexual doesn’t mean she’s attracted to every woman she meets.  Are you attracted to every woman you meet? I doubt it. 
Remember that when finding couples, the female might not be into your wife and just want to husband swap.  A very good friend of ours originally straight out said to me during our first conversation via Yahoo, ” Hey I know you’re bi sexual but I’m not do you mind if we just swap husbands?”  My answer, “Sure sounds good.”  I was attracted to her but she was upfront and honest and so we swapped husbands. 
Will it hurt your chances in the lifestyle if your wife doesn’t want to play with another girl? It could a little.  I say that because you may both like a couple and then once you tell them girl plus girl play is out they may say thanks but no thanks. 
The female wanted to play and you just turned her down.
Other couples won’t care and will play anyway.  In truth it really does depend on the couple and the open communication you present to them.  Everyone one is different which is truly why the lifestyle is SO fun.  Thank you for the fantastic question, keep them comin!

Answer:
By Aarron-
It will very much mess up your chances of meeting some couples in the lifestyle if your wife isn’t bisexual or at least bi-playful.
It will also increase your chances to meet certain couples in the lifestyle if your wife says no to the girl + girl fun.
Believe it or not, a lot of women who list themselves as bisexual or bi curious do so for the exact reasons you are worrying about.
Seeing a couple with a female listed as straight removes a ton of pressure to possibly have to act in a way they don’t really want to for these women.
Not all is as it seems in swingerland.
Though most women list themselves as bisexual or bi curious it is not a major component or a requirement in play for the majority of these couples.
From what I have seen maybe 20% of women in swinging are actually into women as much as they are into men.
On the other hand I’d guess a full half of women who swing do like some girl on girl action during play.
It isn’t a requirement though for most of them.
The newer they are to the lifestyle the more apt they are to be seeking primarily a female sex show for the husbands.
The longer they have been swinging the less apt the guy is going to be giving a crap about it and that the gal will be wanting to play that way if she isn’t really into it.
It gets boring after a few dozen times if it isn’t really your thing.
Note that I said “if it isn’t really your thing” just now.
For some it is their big thing.
It may be the main part of their game even.
So… Tell it like it is.
That’s my advice.
If your wife isn’t into girls list yourselves as straight on personals sites and tell people at gatherings when the subject arises.
It certainly doesn’t dissuade us from meeting people if they are listed as straight.
My wife loves playing with women, but she is into men just as much.
If the man is attractive and cool she is in.
If the woman is attractive and cool I am in.
It’s that simple.

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Wanting a girl for my husband

by on Sep.27, 2010, under Newbie Help, Spice

Question:

I would like to find a woman who would like to have sex with my husband in a threesome. I have written people on swingers sites and placed ads on CL. I don’t want to have to play bisexual with the woman. I just want a woman looking for no strings sex that will join us to satisfy my husband.

Answer:
By Miranda- 
Its sometimes hard to find the single female that fits like a glove to your sexual desires and your husbands.
Emotional women will pop up or you end up having the girl hit on you more than your husband. 
They are out there keep looking. 
Maybe begin looking for married women who play separate from their husbands.  They are generally into abiding by rules and just playing with NO stings attached.

Answer:
By Aarron-
Finding a single girl who is not looking for a bisexual experience that would like to have a threesome with your husband as the king sounds like a hard one if you are not targeting women you already know.
Most single women who you will find on lifestyle sites that are interested in threesomes are going to be seeking a bisexual experience.
The straight girls are mostly just seeking men and will avoid your type of scenario because it can often have dram attached.
If you are looking on sites aimed at swingers I would suggest doing as Miranda said and start looking at married women who play solo. I think you would have a lot more luck in that arena.
I know that Lifestyle Lounge has a group called threesome exchange geared towards what you are talking about except that the idea is that you have a threesome with another couple and the woman of the other couple has a threesome with you.
I am not sure if you are actually “in the lifestyle” and play yourself or if this is just a one time thing you are seeking from the way you worded your question so I don’t know if that is an option for you.
If it is… then you should check it out.
If you are not in the lifestyle and you are seeking this as a one time thing you may wish to seek outside of the swinging world and just try to find a vanilla girl who is up for your fun.
From my experience it isn’t that hard to find a willing playmate if you just open your eyes to those around you and be honest about what you are looking for.

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