The Swingers Attic

Tag: Vanilla

From Couples to Unicorns

by on Jun.23, 2012, under Spice

Question:

Hi, my man is very into swapping, but I am more into the girl on girl play. I have been trying to talk him into threesomes with other girls, but he wont allow girls who are not swingers and says unicorns are impossible. I know I could get girlfriends from work to join us, but he says it would end up being messy. I think my man is tripping. What do you think?

Answer:
By Miranda-
I think your man is looking out for you honey.
Involving coworkers into your bedroom equation can end badly. It can make work super uncomfortable and not at all a place you ever want to visit again. I will back you up though and say that unicorns aren’t impossible and actually really easy to find. Even if they aren’t swinger girls, go out to a local club, and if you’re putting out the vibe for playful fun, girls will SO love to partake, really. It just takes a little know how and skill, which isn’t hard. Just show confidence and let the female know your intentions up front. If they aren’t into it they’ll say no and sometimes they don’t even know they want to until the opportunity is given to them.
I know it seems risky and sounds full of rejection but take it from me, it is a great way to prefect your confidence even in the swinger world. I hope you give it a try or even a month worth of tries because I guarantee you’ll find your girl…or many. A secure couple for a single girl in a club is promising because they can play and then walk away. Thanks for writing in and good luck on your girly seeking adventures…out of the work place.

Answer:
By Aarron-
I agree with Miranda on avoiding people from the workplace unless you are wanting to possibly have a whole bunch of drama in your life.

Unicorn = Single bisexual female involved in the lifestyle that seeks play with couples.

Unicorns … I dislike the term as it implies mythical and nonexistent, when in reality it is quality couples who single bisexual females wish to actually play with that are most rare in my opinion.
Most people I have met who are actively seeking a “unicorn” are not what the unicorn wants.
They are often mismatched visually (one attractive partner with one less attractive) or they have security , jealousy, control, confidence issues… or are NOT on the same page at all in what they want and why they wish a unicorn in the first place. The super secure, no worries, no insecurities, on the same page completely type couples usually seem to have no problem making friends with single bisexual girls.
I have even noticed that it is often the “unicorn” that ends up making the advances towards such a couple at lifestyle parties and events.
As for non-swinger girls in general, I think that is even easier to accomplish. The only “unicorns” I ever deal with are ones we have met through mutual friends, or those who take huge steps to get together with us.
Single girls in the vanilla world are a whole different game.
Many will jump at the chance to play with a couple. It is often a fantasy that has never seemed realistic.
The trick is to simply have confidence, both be on the same page, and not be creepy.
It is best if you (the female) does most of the big time flirting if the girl is 100% vanilla because she is more apt to be at ease and wont have her guard up as much.
Don’t rush it. I’ve noticed that many people who have been in the lifestyle try to rush it in the vanilla world because they have gotten so used to the way lifestyle people hookup. Vanillas sometimes (not always) need some extra sweet talking and flirting.

Another thing I would like to point out is that any vanilla girl you pick up should be treated especially nice and that you must try and make sure she leaves feeling appreciated and special. As a vanilla in a regular club she did not sign up as a swinger looking for a quick hookup. You invited her into the mix. It is your duty to make sure she feels it was a good idea afterwards.

 

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Are they a swingers couple?

by on Jan.25, 2012, under Unsorted

Question:
My husband and I have met a couple and after we was interduced the
next day I received a text message saying (we so so so need to get
together so the boys can have a play date,) at first i didnt think
anything about the text, but now i do think something is up. second
time being around i thought she was hitting on my man because we was
invited over to play cards drink beer. Everytime my man went to have a
smoke she followed outside.one time he was even taking a piss he said
hey im out here she said its only me. By now im getting upset i go out
she is telling us how she tans in the nude. Like i could careless. Ok
I have nothing against swingers. Just not for me. I was wondering do
you think this is a swingers cpl or she just after my man. And if they
are how do you tell a cpl this isnt what we are wanting.

Answer:
By Miranda-
Okay, so I can’t tell you exactly how to handle this situation because we don’t know if they’re truly swingers, and also if the female does have a little crush on your husband and they aren’t swingers do you really want to draw attention to it  if the husband of this lady hasn’t caught on?
Never rock a motor boat. You haven’t really hung out with this couple enough to really pass judgements on their sexual orientation and they may really take offence if you come out and say, “Hey we don’t want to sleep with you two,” if…they aren’t swingers.
Don’t make it a point to becomes friends with this couple if you aren’t feeling comfortable, or give it a little more time to see what their intentions are. Either way… you shouldn’t jump to conclusions.
If the wife tans in the nude it is no big deal and whether you care or not is up to you. She probably didn’t think twice about your husband using the facilities outside, and if she also smokes you must remember that at social gatherings smokers often go out together.
Sit back, relax, and if they turn out to want to sleep with you, politely decline and decide if you want to carry on a friendship with this couple.

Answer:
By Aarron-
It is just as likely that you are dealing with a very open couple or a flirtatious woman as a lifestyle couple. It could be that this woman is just very forthright in her thinking and actions so comes off a bit strong in certain ways.
There is really no way for us to know if they are swingers by the things you mentioned. Going off of just those things I certainly wouldn’t have a clue if I was in your shoes.
I will say that if these people are making you uncomfortable right from the start it most likely wont be a long or important friendship.
Since you do have a desire to hang out for some reason though I would suggest that you somehow bring up the topic of swingers and then mention that such things are not for you. Doing such a thing would either get them to tell if they are or are not in the lifestyle, or at least make them know that you are not interested if they don’t wish to disclose such information.
As for the “she just after my man” part of your question… again I have no way of knowing. If it is a worry then maybe not hanging out with the people is your best bet.

 

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